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Russian Tea Cakes
The evil woman from the Contracts Department, the one with the rosy cheeks has done us in with her sweets.
She’s poisoned our office with her baked goods, the irresistible ones.
Literally irresistible, the cookies draw us towards them with a gravitational pull that is so famous that the lure is now lore.
Quite simply, humans can’t resist. It’s like culinary crack that crunches then melts simultaneously on our unguarded pallets, dissolving into a flavor that inexorably maraud the taste buds, holding them hostage to its sugars and spices.
The evil woman knows this. She must, so don’t be fooled by her baby-faced smile that feigns innocence.
The fruits of her batter carry both a warm embrace, and a deadly chokehold.
And let’s not talk about my favorite, the Russian Tea Cakes that are bathed and blessed in rich powdered sugar. These sweets, like the magical fingertips of a doctor, make pain disappear.
But no good deed goes unpunished. Just ask my swollen waistline.
So take the evil woman away. Lock her up and throw away the baking pans. Lock her up so that she can’t make our chewing faces smile, or our insulin do joyful spasmodic dances.
She must leave… …but only after I’ve finished my 13th Russian tea cake, and only after I wipe the powdered sugar from my beaming face. Only then.
THE END
